This is Not Goodbye.

There was no goodbye. Our separation was brief, although it had longed been anticipated. When you said you had to go, I felt numb. I hope, wish, yearn with all my heart that this is not goodbye.

This is a story about my best friend and I. We had known each other for 11 years; and although we had been separated for more than half of that time, we still remain close and the best of best friends. Her name is Farah, but she has many nicknames she gives herself, like Kai or Gil. Isn't that funny?

I think one of the qualities that make our relationship so strong and unbreakable is the fact that we simply accept the other with no questions asked. Which is not an easy task because we are so different from each other. She is quiet, and I am loud. She is sensible and I am playful. She is logical while I am intuitive. She enjoys anime and manga while I couldn't care less. I am not planning to ramble about the little details of our relationship, but I think it is important that she is properly introduced.

Less than two weeks ago, I found out that she is living 27km away from Mount Merapi, currently an active explosive volcano waiting to let all hell break loose. My initial conversations with her both contained my increasing concern and a rising curiosity for the once-in-a-lifetime chance to witness a natural disaster (for Malaysians of course). I warned her of the possible things to happen, how she should prepare for it and the great magical things that Mother Nature has been storing beneath this dangerous mountain. In return, we chatted about our old days and catch up about a fiction we have been working on since we were 14 years old.

It made me miss her dearly. I stayed up till 3a.m. to chat with her and I was always looking up for updates about Mount Merapi. Most of the time, I was contented with the fact that she is online. The volcano was taking its time and there was no huge concern.

But that changed a few hours ago. I noticed how she had stayed up all night updating her status on Facebook, and how she waited for me to be online. When we were both finally available, she frantically told me how the volcanic rainfall is heading their way, how she couldn't sleep listening to the roaring explosions from the mountain. On one hand, she was finally glad that her university is closed because of the foreboding natural disaster. But the news update that we didn't discussed about scared me: In that one night, the amount of casualties increased by almost 100%. (From around 30-ish to 79 deaths, to be exact).

And then, the inevitable came. She told me "We're ordered to be evacuated. Brb" And that was all. I was happy for her, we have been waiting long for some sort of safety measure to be implanted for the students there. But I haven't fully taken her situation into reality. After a few minutes of absorbing what she had said, I had a formidable thought ran across my head: "What if that was the last..."

I shook it out of my head. I'm shaking it out of my head. It is impossible that it could be a reality, but yet it can be at the same time. My heart goes out to all those who have lost lives, but more importantly, I pray with everything in me that everyone can be safe.

Please stay safe, my dear best friend. I need you.