What is success? I have written about this topic before in my writing class - describing the levels of expectations from different people about how I should do things in life.. to become successful.
My dad wants me to become successful by always moving forward and up in the career ladder. He sees the abundant potential in me: I am young, I am majoring in a degree that can revolutionize the world, I am a determined person (or so he says). When we talk, he informs me of a new study or a renowned overseas company that can take me a step further in my area. I appreciate the thought, but is that really what I want?
My mum has the same vision as my dad, but in a different approach. She wants me to acquire the prestige of being successful in a career. When we talk, she persistently encourages me to take on a Master's Degree, then a Ph.D, and later work in a private company - because that's where I can get the most financial security/benefits.
I feel that my mum hangs on to this pride I used to always shower her with when I was younger. In school, I used to be the president of something, a secretary of another and I compete in school competitions every other month. I was the editor-in-chief, I entered the debate and the list goes on. I used to think that I'll looked back and be awfully proud of all the experience I got in school - but that didn't really happen. I was only looking for other people to label me as successful (in school! - weird). I know, I was an odd child.
It took me a 20 hour ride in an airplane halfway across the globe to really grasp that I hadn't a clue to what my own definition of success is. I came to Davis not really knowing what I want from it. Even today, I still feel like I'm dipping my toes in the ocean and contemplating ways to get across.
But in the essay for my writing class, I kind-of discovered what success really means to me. I will be successful when I have achieved happiness with myself and my family. Growing up, I always feel distant to my own thoughts and opinions because I was too busy trying to make peace with the conflicts that consistently arises in my family. I'm pretty sure every family has their own set of problems; but mine rips apart the relationship within family members - father, brother, sister, step-family. Until now, my desire has always been to be able to build and maintain a happy and comfortable family. Something that is filled with laughter, and carefree memories.
So maybe it's not a high-paying job, or a great title in front of my name. But when I have achieved that level of happiness, I will feel like I have accomplished something in life. My only worry is that not many will understand how gratifying it will mean to me.
Will my parents be pleased?
